Your New Best Friend

She lives in Newport News, Virginia and is originally from Robotville, Saturn.  On the weekends she goes thrift store and flea market shopping.  She takes pictures of buttons, empty spools of thread, and Barbie and Ken dolls in compromising positions.  She remembers all the lyrics to the opening theme song of "Jem and the Holograms."  She knows the difference between a Jazzie and a Maxie doll.  She owns the day bed and background scenery of the Rocker's (Barbie's band) loft.  She sells 80s jewelry.  She has a craft room.  Glitter and yarn are words in her every day vocabulary.  She knows that "kawaii" is the Japanese word for "cute."

While you and your friends from the secretary pool are enjoying happy hour at a rooftop bar in Chelsea, trying to catch the eye of a Wall St. dude who likes it from behind, this girl is sitting on her deck and jamming out to tunes on her Fisher Price record player.  While you spend half your paycheck on gym memberships, she is eating mini-cupcakes from her Easy Bake oven.  While you pay $100 for jeans, she is sewing her own skirts out of She-Ra bedsheets, using patterns she found in the attic of her Scottish next door neighbor.  She doesn't give a fuck what you think.  She decided that she liked the year 1987 and she is not going back.  Give her a call.  Don't worry, she'll pick up.  As soon as she heard you were in town she got started on a Chinese staircase friendship bracelet in the colors of the Jamaican flag.

The lesson is: why the fuck aren't you hanging out with the coolest person you'll ever know?  Best, Meg