Friday, August 29, 2008

I'm a Big Sap



You take New York City, a bunch of movie stars, all around good looking people, a Feist song, a Regina Spektor song, a Mika song, dancing, kissing, laughing, guys pushing girls in prom dresses in wheelchairs, old people romance, people opening doors and being surprised what's on the other side, people loving New York and talking about how much they love it, people looking longingly at each other, dreamy musings, Cloris Leachman, that effect where one person stands still while everyone else is moving really fast around them, Tavern on the Green, wedding dresses, and Coney Island --- brother, you have the most perfect trailer for a movie in the world. I'm so easily led.

The lesson is: who's gonna see "New York, I Love You" with me? Best, Meg

Have a few minutes? You're gonna need 'em!

Like some girls, I am a habitual and chronic collager. I make collages like there's a brush fire about to consume my home and I have to arrange all my treasured memory junk in an artistic way. I make collages like they're the key to curing AIDS. I make collages like there will be no tomorrow but I must remember yesterday. Ya heard?

So, you can imagine how delighted I was to find this website. Polyvore lets you MAKE COLLAGES ONLINE with dope patterns and backgrounds, mixed with clothes and accessories that you would like to buy (just see the quick one I made just now). Imagine if I put some time into it and uploaded my photos from Japan, mixed in with an imperial Prussian pattern, an American eagle and a tube of mascara? It's like you're making your own Nylon Magazine spread. Um, Polyvore, where were you when I was rolling on ectasy and couldn't figure out how to work my scissors and glue stick to make a collage of Vanity Fair magazines from the early 90s? Huh? Where were you. I love you.

The lesson is: free up your weekend cause you're gonna be collagin'! Best, Meg

neonmexi


I woke up at 7am to create this "neonmexi" pattern in illustrator/photoshop, I am obsessed with this zazzle site. I also made a pair for my comedy group using our card graphic.
There are a million more to come....Thanks Meg for CHANGING MY LIFE....

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Waa, Waa, My Sneakers Are Boring



Well, shut your face cause sneakers just got amazing. Keds just launched their "create your own sneaker" shit. Look at this little gem I'll be rocking in 1 - 2 weeks (depending on shipping and handling). No more will I be sobbing into my chai latte about how my kicks are so far from fly. Shopping online just got fun again, my people! Now, can someone tell my mom to get off the phone so I can get some dial up action in this hiz-ouse?! I'm gonna be surfing the Interweb highway, in like, 17 minutes.

The lesson is: I design banging sneakers.

Best, Meg

More little girl garbage

This shirt is awesome.

Yikes I'm going to lose my Virginity in like 3 hours!!!!!





















Oh my G-Units!!!
Geophrey is totally coming over in like 3 hours to finally do it in the "princess purse" and like he's never been to my room! I wish I could get a little HELP around here....I hope it doesn't turn into a "princess hearse," as in my vayhayhay is in pain!I have to be at the Fancy Pants business meeting in like 4.5 hours!! That leaves Geo (as I call him, hehe,) a solid hour to turn me into a woman! I wish my room looked like a grown up woman's room like NOWish!
-Steph "into the Future" Jacobs

My Three Dads Are Sooooo Embarrassing


Don't they know my friends read this magazine? I hate having three dads.
The lesson is: just stay out of my room, ok?!
Best, Meg

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

wear what I tell you bitches!

enter the H&M virtual dressing room and play virtual barbie alllllllllllllll dayyyyyyyyyyyyy

Monday, August 25, 2008

Your New Best Friend

She lives in Newport News, Virginia and is originally from Robotville, Saturn.  On the weekends she goes thrift store and flea market shopping.  She takes pictures of buttons, empty spools of thread, and Barbie and Ken dolls in compromising positions.  She remembers all the lyrics to the opening theme song of "Jem and the Holograms."  She knows the difference between a Jazzie and a Maxie doll.  She owns the day bed and background scenery of the Rocker's (Barbie's band) loft.  She sells 80s jewelry.  She has a craft room.  Glitter and yarn are words in her every day vocabulary.  She knows that "kawaii" is the Japanese word for "cute."

While you and your friends from the secretary pool are enjoying happy hour at a rooftop bar in Chelsea, trying to catch the eye of a Wall St. dude who likes it from behind, this girl is sitting on her deck and jamming out to tunes on her Fisher Price record player.  While you spend half your paycheck on gym memberships, she is eating mini-cupcakes from her Easy Bake oven.  While you pay $100 for jeans, she is sewing her own skirts out of She-Ra bedsheets, using patterns she found in the attic of her Scottish next door neighbor.  She doesn't give a fuck what you think.  She decided that she liked the year 1987 and she is not going back.  Give her a call.  Don't worry, she'll pick up.  As soon as she heard you were in town she got started on a Chinese staircase friendship bracelet in the colors of the Jamaican flag.

The lesson is: why the fuck aren't you hanging out with the coolest person you'll ever know?  Best, Meg

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Vicky Bass



This is this adorable 14 year old in the UK named Vicky Bass. I am enchanted by how she designed her video submission.
I also highly reccommend checking out her other video: "There is a Light That Never Goes Out," by the Smiths. Oh man I want to hang out with her and make outfits and make something with glitter and angst. Sigh.
-Rylan

Friday, August 22, 2008

Can you tell your faggot kids to get off my lawn?

Seriously, Deborah, I'm asking nicely. Don't make me bring this to the community board. My stepbrother Ira is on it. I think I have a pretty good case. This is the third time this week. I will turn the hose on them.

The lesson is: capes are gay.

Best, Meg

Trendsetters


You know you're the coolest Japanese couple in your prefecture when you're adopting American kids. No Asian babies for you.
The lesson is: equality. Best, Meg




Thursday, August 21, 2008

you ever look at a book cover and think, "damn, i wish you were my outfit"?


















xo,
Lucia

Meth + Wendy's + Sex Addict Boyfriend that ignores you =

D-3166x  ON SALE Graveyard Fairy  PLUS SIZE 4 pc Costume
-Rylan

softer side of steers




Man I want to do something with this fabric...think Aztecian Midwestern Housewife Kimonoesque lounge wear. I like the drapey slinky long odd shape sleeve kind of vibe, smoking a cigarette, dispensing pills, and scooping small dogs. Like high-end depression soft wear. You are fabulous but you gave up a long time ago, now you just saunter in this robe and wonder how many calories tylenol have.
-Rylan

How Dare You?


You call yourself a dog owner? Really? With that dime store leash and hand me down collar? Obviously, you are the parent who forgets to pick up their child at soccer practice after school because there is a whole shitload of dogs out there laughing at your dog. Oh, how cute, your dog's a dog -- well, take a look across the street because that dog is a mother fuckin' captain. Wait, turn around, behind you -- that dog is a sassy cowboy. Your dog doesn't even own a visor. Do you know what they're saying about your dog? That he's a god damn pussy, and I don't mean a cat, I mean a dildo inserting vagina. That's what these fashion dogs think of your dog. In fact, these dogs are getting together at their Tribeca loft for hat parties and your dog is the topic of ridicule. These dogs go for weekends in Cape Cod and don't invite your dog. Son, these dogs are going Oscar Wilde on your dog's ass. They're using wordplay and simile like it's going out of style. These dogs look at your dog and wonder why there's a God that makes bad things happen to good dogs. These dogs wonder when your dog is gonna get off it's period, cause it looks like a bloody tampon. These dogs shit fashion gold. You wonder why your dog never gets invited anywhere? Take a look in the mirror, asshole.
The lesson here is: get your head out of your butt and buy your dog a hat. Best, Meg

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Why Do I Try?


When there are girls like this in the world? Pictured: Santogold and M.I.A. Their powers combined create a radical mix of not giving a fuck cool. You challenge me? Don't try. These girls can wear (not pictured) gold shiny leggings, oversized tie dye tee shirts turned dresses, mixed with a puce Members Only jacket, neon Keds, hoop earrings that spell the word "Sexy" in the middle, and heart shaped sunglasses --- all without looking like a douchebag. Their mix of cool is like Parker Posey sucking off Kanye West while Zach Galifianakis lipsynched a Hot Chip song on the corner of Bedford Avenue and the Ginza district, which Lourdes Leon blogs about on her iPhone. That's how cool they are. They also make music. Just by listening to their music, you will be inspired to be cool. Look at their photo. They're doing a modified tree pose, pretending they're holding cigarettes, and looking past you to the block party they spontaneously started while you were trying to figure out how to work your BestBuy camera. Oh yeah, and their best friend Mark Ronson just happened to be in the neighborhood to DJ. What? Fuck me, world, how do I compete.
The lesson: Incorporate one piece of neon everyday. By the end of the week, maybe one of these bitches will look in your neon direction. Domo gozimasu. Best, Meg

newest in new and the fall fevers

Nice, Meggles said "your own biz dot com" in the last AWESOME new post from her as the newest contributor to Fash Emerg.

I'm stuck in an office where every few minutes some one sneezes or coughs a hacking sack of shit from inside themselves. Shades are drawn, flourescents puke light on miserable shmucks and the AC is pumping to scarf temps. OUTSIDE, however (and there may as well be a caucoaphany of radiant horns when you step outside,) is a sparkling example of what mother nature can do when she gets off her fat ass. It's the weather you run home to change for, you want to step out in this kind of air, frock it out, fluff it, primp it, strut the hell out of an Avenue, pose in interesting shadows, vogue with strangers at cross walks. The pre-fall New York City dope weather is at its peak today. Unfortunately due to a hovering cold (wonder where I caught it from...) and general malaise- I wore an unimpressive outfit, I just couldn't pull it together, very unfortunate. The weather is almost worth quitting and going further into debt. Almost. Sigh. I can't even properly fantasize about an outfit, there's too much pressure to impress out there.
Go get 'em fall fashion tigers!
-Rylan

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Nine Months of Fabulous



There is no better time to be pregnant. Not to have a baby per se, but to be PREGNANT. Nine months of eating whatever shit you want, letting guys on the subway give up their seats for you, bigger boobs, and....the clothes. Now is the hottest time in pregnant fashion. Flowing fabrics, empire waistlines, and built in bras to house your brand new lactating hooters. I draw your attention to Christian Siriano. He's from Project Runway (which I don't watch because I don't have cable, but if I did, I'd probably watch it) and from what I gather he says "fierce" more than a human being should. Anyway, he's up and designed a maternity line. I want to wear these dresses now. These dresses carry the laissez-faire quality of summer, the Cote d'Azur, and knowing you don't have to be on birth control for 9 months.

A month ago I went into a store (I won't say which one, there are so many) and tried on this halter dress that had a black background and pink and green flowers making this psychedelic pattern that was not annoying. The silky fabric was not too thick and the cut was very flattering on the neckline (not too low but offering hints of cleavage). A friend went into the dressing room with me and commented that I looked really great in the dress. I know, right? But, it was fitting weird for the size and cut of the garment. I was THIS close to buying it, but something was amiss. Areas were bigger in strange areas. I checked the tag. It was a maternity dress. I couldn't bring myself to buy it. I still wake up thinking about that dress.
The lesson here is: Be fabulous for nine months, it's totally worth it. What you do with the baby that arrives is your own biz dot com. Best, Meg



Jammin' on the 90's

Recession Shmession, fashion continues. Grunge is in the forefront and the periferrals. I'm nostalgic for Sassy magazine, layered flannel, and Lucia is talking Doc Martins. The other night I popped in a VHS copy of 'Singles' to get a dose of 90's grunge Seattle. Eddie Vedder is all up in that bitch. I like Pearl Jam more today than at 13 years old-I thought only posers dug them, and for fashion I will be a poser now- just to live vacariously through the co-opted senisbility of a return to Grunge. Like the philosophy that is carried in the style, I am a sucker for remembering painful times, the romance of one's own "struggle" to get to today. Slacker, Depression, Wasted, Homemade; all the trimmings of an economic down swing and all the deliciousness of a slammin' outfit. I mean when Calvin Klein does it, well its like open season to be flamboyant about the return, act naturally, slowly and then BAM- full on Grunge attire out of no where. It's like the first time I did it. I conciously built my first Grunge outfit in my room the night before announcing it to the school that I had always known I was this way-I mean duh! I selected a black t-shirt from an old bowling alley that my mom gave me from New York City (double points in cool,) turned it inside out and slipped it over a long sleeve, next I cut the top off a pair of my dads denim overalls I found in the basement, belted them around my tiny 13 yr old waif structure, and finished with converse sneakers. Out I went, transformed over night. A girl in the locker room did the jaw drop to my choice in clothing, I took it as an opportunity to be like-"oh this? yeah I just threw it on, I woke up late." I don't care if she believed me-here I was creating myself one lie at a time-what is fashion anyways right?
-Rylan

Thursday, August 14, 2008

haha wiki-ha

This is funny to me
note: "For example, if you have cute Bermuda plaid capris, put colors that match with that one thing."
-Rylan

Friday, August 8, 2008

One for the Future Ancients

Ummmm Sami people's stone-age pethroglyphs of boats???? I think I have a charm necklace coming on....

-Rylan

Who really rules the fashion world

http://static.flickr.com/31/58773005_4face29ddf.jpg

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Don't Forget Who Truly Rules the Fashion World


for a good time, please click on the image.
love,
lucia
tonight-Magnet Theater 254 W 29th Street with Scratch Off! 7:30 pm $5 Improv Comedy

Post therapy American Apparel purchases

So I am living the American dream. I went to therapy on my lunch break from my corporate job and after therapy I bought two t-shirts from American Apparel. I already knew I would buy them after, I planned it. I envisioned them and fulfilled the prophesy. Like so many other things, like things discussed in therapy. Maybe envisioning the purchase was a way to see myself getting out of therapy and moving forward with my day (life.) Or they are a treat, like "here you go sweety you just went through something rough." Disgusting. Anyways, not to bum anyone out, I got a slightly larger v-neck gray track shirt than I already own, and a purple acid wash v-neck. I put the purple v-neck on in the bathroom at work, it is WAY more awesome than what I was wearing earlier-the slightly smaller and totally pit stained gray v-neck track shirt that I already own. I do need therapy.
-Rylan

SHOOZ

How silly that it has taken me this long to post. I will be discussing the following in the coming days:

1 - summer shoes that make you wish it was summer for atleast two seasons a year - these! just kidding, those blow. these are more obvious - but does that make them lame? ponder dat.
2 - finding that bag that is hotter than a tote bag but doesn't make you feel like a poor man's mary kate olsen. aka this. or this if you're sleeping with a rich dude.
3 - fantasy bracelet combinations - this bracelet with like, 10 of these, all on the same arm. ha, stop fantasizing, your table wants their check.

love,
lucia

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Discush

Average White Girl wrote Fash Emerg:
"OK, I'm dying to talk about "muffin tops".

Ok. They are the unfortunate by product of low-rise fashion, genetics and possibly poor diet/lack of excercise-but seriously everyone can create muffin top-just get pants that are too small and too low. Mix this mess with some tight cheap t-shirt and top off wiht a thong whale tail and you are all aboard to Mall Slut Alley!

The other unfortunate yummy sounding fashion glitch-PONCH! That bulbous collection of chub on display manufactured by high rise pants, panties, skirts, etc. Awesome. Sometimes referred to as " mom ponch." I remember seeing it on a few mom's wearing stonewash in upstate New York in the 80's-90's. Perhaps the low rise was created because we had feasted on ponch for too long.

There are jeans that are wide in the waist and not too low and still fit narrow throughout to limit muffin top manufacturing. But you have to hunt like you are hungry.

Fun thing to do

1) Go to http://www.corbis.com
2) Select "Editorial" to search
3) enter 1972 as the date photographed
4) Start on the first image, double click and then hit next at the top and view all like a slide show.

Anne Klein with jewelry case-check out the "ME" necklace
Woody Allen
Betsy Johnson
Bill Blass
Barbara Streisand
Carly Simon
Dolly Parton
check out Michel Polnareff-sheesh dude
The Andes plane crash survivor images
Billie Jean King-whoa

That's just up to page 4!!

I like these

I like this site, I like these pants
http://www.edgeofurge.com/boutique/clothing/womens/pants/low_life.php

Feeling like an identity-crisis is coming on...ooh of the best kind-skanky and slutsky
Fall fanatasy-animal print heels with skankrific tight jeans like thse "low lifes" and sultry baggy loose cashmere sweater thing with short sleeves, boxy fit, over the belly buldge.

what's your Fall Fantasy Lucia?

This is it.

This is where we can finally let loose and talk about the shit we want to. Fashion Comedy. Comedy Fashion. GO!