Be Good Looking

Is there anything Wikipedia doesn't know? Facts, figures, charts, graphs, now they can advise you on how to be good looking. From chubby teenager to sparkling debutante with some time on her hands, now the online encyclopedia is working to make you a better person -- on the outside! Boy, I really could have used this advice when I was crying into my pillow in the 7th grade when my "friends" referred to me as "dirty," "ugly," and "undesirable."

Let's break it down according to Wikipedia -- which , in my experience, is never wrong. Apparently, step one to being good looking is being healthy, confident, and a good person. Great! Let me call up my 7th grade self and tell her to eat an apple and volunteer or some shit. My favorite piece of advice is to "Smile." Stupid ugly girls, listen up! You just need to think positively about yourself, brush your hair and put a big fat grin on your face. Get out of those dark corners and fix yourself up the Wiki way. And, read the whole entry. On the bottom there's TIPS, such as "Just be optimistic and things will go great." Yeah! Unattractive people are so negative. I hate them. Thank god I'm good looking.

The lesson here is: Being pretty is better than not. Best, Meg